Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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