I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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