apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
