I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
