waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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