Already got asked if we're dating
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
