Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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