apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
