Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
