You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
