He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
