Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
