I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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