We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
