you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
are you so shy because you have an std?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
