I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
