I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
