Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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