It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
