You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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