...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
