I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
