You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
