please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
