Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
