let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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