My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You left your underwear on the fireplace
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
