I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
