It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You ate ashes out of my bong
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
