I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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