he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
