I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
ugly people sure do ruin things
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
