Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
