I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
