it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
