come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i dont even know how to be here
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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