I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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