Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
