that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
