All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
