I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
