okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
