Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
