I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
