I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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