Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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