I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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