dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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