i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
