i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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