Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
